Three computers, each running Linux, Windows and MacOS respectively meet up at a lan party. It is a typical lan party. A semi dark room, lit only by the glow of monitors with network cables snaking haphazardly across the floor littered with empty bottles, crushed chip packets and piled up against the wall, a stack of pizza boxes.
Linux: Hey guys, great party.
Windows: Hey Linux, yeah its pretty cool. I have been doing some serious fragging.
Mac: Hey Linux, your a bit late. Windows, you couldn’t frag your way out of a wet paper bag.
Windows: Aaw Mac matey. You still sore about that ambush? All’s fair in love and war.
Linux: Here they come guys, ready to rumble?
Windows, Mac: You bet your sweet bits we are!
Mac, Linux: Were connected.
Windows: There must be some network lag or something…..Now I’m in.
Linux: Come out, come out where ever you are.
Windows: Take that Linux!
Linux: Aaarrgh! That’s right windows. Shoot me in the back.
Windows: WTF! Who shot me?
Mac: LOL! I told you you couldn’t frag your way out of a wet paper bag 🙂
Linux: Hey Mac, look over here.
Mac: What? Ouch! That was quite a load you dumped on me. Ha ha ha, didn’t do much though.
Linux: Those were just love taps baby 🙂
Windows: Take that Mac and you take that Linux.
Linux: A bit slow windows. Still got that network lag?
Mac: Like I was there two milliseconds ago. Put some lead in it Windows!
Windows: Not my fault! My guy’s greasy fingers slipped on the keyboard. Ugh! I feel so dirty.
Mac: That’s nothing. Not even fifteen minutes ago mine dumped his drink on me. Fortunately my membrane keyboard was waterproof.
Linux: I am surprised both of you are still living. Don’t your guys take care of you?
Windows: I’m not feeling well. Oooh, I feel like I’m gunna……
Mac: Typical, he’s crashed again. Just when things start heating up Windows turns wobbly.
Linux: While we’re waiting Mac, get a taste of this!
Mac: Aaagh! What the fsck was that? I don’t have those. They hurt too.
Linux: Pwnd! Lol. They are in the latest version. I just installed it this morning.
Mac: Hmmm, let me check. Aw man! It’s not in the store yet. Alright then. Take this.
Linux: Ha ha ha, missed me. Ooof, no you didn’t 😦
Windows: Hey guys, I’m back.
Linux: Welcome to the land of the living.
Mac: Why did you crash this time?
Windows: Somebody slipped me a Micky.
Linux: You’re always catching virus’s Windows. Don’t blame other people.
Windows: You and Mac will get them too. Just you wait. Then I will have the last laugh.
Mac: This is lame.
Linux, Windows: What?
Mac. This game. I’m too good for this.
Linux: Get your nose out of your bum Mac. Deep down you’re the same as me. You just dress up more. Pansy.
Mac: That’s not true! I am much more sophisticated than you.
Windows: Guys, guys. Stop that bickering. We all know I am the best here.
Linux, Mac: HA HA HA HA!
Windows: Humph, plebeians. Eat lead then.
Linux: Ouch….not 🙂
Mac: He He He. That tickled.
Linux: My turn. This is for you Mac and a little something special for you Windows.
Linux: LOL! I thought that you guys would like thatttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.
Mac: Ha ha! Linux crashed!
Windows: How the mighty have fallen.
Linux: No I didn’t crash. Just the game. I am not as fragile as Windows is. Plus I like to live on the bleeding edge, so I am cut sometimes.
Mac: Live by the sword, die by the sword 🙂
Windows: This is it guys. The big finale. The final face off.
Linux: Quit you’re yappin and start fraggin Windows.
Windows: BAM BAM FWOOSH TATTATATTATATTA!
Mac: POW CHAGGACHAGGACHAGGA KERBOOM!
Linux: BAM BOOM CHUGGALUGGA BOOM CHUGGALUGGA BOOM!
What happens next? When the dust settles who will be victorious? Who has the biggest guns? Who knows how to use their guns the best? Who gets fragged and who is the fragger? Fight it out in the comments below 🙂